Swedish Death Cleaning With My Mother-in-Law: No, It’s Not Morbid
I never expected to become my mother-in-law’s Swedish death cleaning partner, but that’s exactly what has happened over the last few years.
If you’re not familiar, Swedish death cleaning is the act of decluttering your home so that loved ones don’t have to after you die. Yes, the phrase is a little off-putting and might conjure up sad or even horrifying imagery. But the reality is far from morbid.
In fact, for me and my MIL, it’s been a fun, life-affirming bonding experience.
My whole life I’ve been a declutterer. Even as a kid, I was the one regularly clearing out my dresser or organizing my mom’s jewelry box just for fun. As long as I can remember, I’ve gotten a lot of satisfaction from clean spaces. I think it’s because it gives me a sense of order and control in a world where I have such little control.
So all these decades later, it’s really no surprise that my proclivities for cleaning and organizing has transferred over to my MIL’s home in Michigan, where my husband and I spend several months every year.
Now that she’s 85, the process has become a little more intentional, and this year it dawned on me that being the daughter-in-law has put me in a unique position to help.
I love my mother-in-law dearly, but I don’t have the same emotional weight that my husband and his sister would carry into this Swedish death cleaning process. I can be more objective and detached when we’re poring through her closet or dresser or stacks of photos and paperwork.
What also makes things a lot easier is that she’s not facing any serious illness, so there’s no pathos around our sessions. She also has a very positive attitude, so it has been an incredibly productive and surprisingly fun project for both of us.
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